The World as a Learning Classroom
The convergence of the Covid pandemic and advancing technology has transformed my room into a home retreat space over the past three years, courtesy of Zoom. While I initially believed my mindfulness practice was progressing well, it wasn't until my relocation to Saigon this year that things changed.
Living in a small village surrounded by serene paddy fields offered a comfortable life. However, the move to Saigon brought unexpected challenges. It was a major decision, especially considering I am no longer “young and beautiful”
Saigon is particularly known for its infamous traffic congestion, often described as "organized chaos”. Yet, for many foreigners like Malaysians, it might appear more chaotic than organized. Vietnamese drivers and riders navigate the streets by accommodating each other, disregarding traditional right-of-way norms.
During my SBS trip in April 2022, it was the first time I noticed that sensual pleasures hinder one from learning. The realization was guided by insights from Teacher Tuck Loon. Courtesy of nightly Zoom classes, the two-hour daily commute through Saigon's bustling streets became a learning experience. The classes continued to shape my learning attitude. I observed myself complaining about other vehicles vying for space, forgetting that the streets were designed for motorbikes. The eagerness to move forward only led to collective standstills. Sometimes, I would get nudged from behind because my mind was too confused, struggling to keep up with the fast-paced rush of people heading to work, riding on the roadside. The tranquility of the "6 am club" was easily disrupted, emphasizing the need for morning reminders.
The return journey after classes became a challenge, with fatigue, disappointment, and traffic turning a one-hour drive into an eternity. The struggle to check my mind and retain the day's lessons resulted in attending Zoom classes with a drowsy attitude or a turned-off screen. There are moments when my interest peaks, capturing my attention and curiosity. However, there are also instances when I find myself preoccupied with sleeping or mindlessly scrolling through Facebook in an attempt to sustain a restless motivation, all while unknowingly being trapped in familiar and unnoticed loops.
In November, a pivotal opportunity arose for a 26-day retreat in Myanmar, deepening my understanding of awareness and unraveling the interplay of the five spiritual faculties and hindrances. This retreat served as an "interest boostcamp," revealing misguided attitudes in my awareness practice. The crucial lesson was realizing that my role was not to eliminate but to observe without succumbing to expectations. Given the conditions of daily life, learning this was not easy. With the understanding and encouragement now, stepping into daily life became more fortified, emanating from wisdom.
Returning to Vietnam after the retreat, a shift occurred during a drive home. This happened 2 days after the retreat. Amidst traffic, an unprecedented calmness enveloped my mind, emphasizing that open awareness, rather than intense focus, was vital for navigating Vietnam's roads, allowing me to accommodate others on the street, gracefully giving way or receiving as needed. Focusing excessively proved dangerous and tiring. The increased frequency of checking awareness was the source of calmness. This newfound understanding was a direct result of the retreat conditions and learning opportunities.
Grateful for Sayadaw's advice to turn my home into a learning classroom, I now embrace traffic jams as my learning classroom —a constant reminder that, despite life's challenges, the pursuit of awareness and wisdom is always worthwhile.
In grace,
Nang Mai
5 Dec 2023