The Things We Carry

The day started out just fine, by our standards, that is. And then the "thing" happens!! 🔥
Which has us asking this all too familiar question.
Have you ever had a perfectly good morning ruined by one small thing?

Someone says something unpleasant.
A driver cuts in front of you.
Your colleague gets praised for something you worked hard on.
A message you were waiting for never comes.

The moment passes.
But somehow, we don't.
We keep thinking about it.

We tell ourselves what we should have said. We replay the conversation. We imagine what we will say next time. And by lunchtime, the person who upset us has probably forgotten all about it—while we are still carrying the whole episode around.

Sometimes life is like that.
Something happens, and almost immediately, we add our own version to it.

Someone doesn't return our call: They don't care.
Our friend doesn't invite us: Perhaps they're avoiding me.
Someone looks unhappy when speaking to us: I must have done something wrong.

We don't always know what is going on. Yet our minds are very good at filling in the blanks.
And once we believe our version of the story, feelings usually follow.

Perhaps we could try something different.
The next time something happens that irritates, disappoints or worries us, we could simply pause for a moment.

Before deciding what it means.
Before replying.
Before sending that message.

Just pause.

Maybe we don't have to solve everything immediately.
Maybe the person was having a bad day.
Maybe we misunderstood.
Maybe they really were being difficult.
And maybe that's our version for it, again.

We can deal with that when we know.
The same goes for the good things in life.
When something wonderful happens, we naturally want it to last. A lovely meal, a holiday, a good conversation, a happy family gathering. We wish we could hold on to those moments.
But they pass too.

Perhaps life becomes a little easier when we stop asking every moment to be different from what it is.
Not because we stop caring.
But because we learn not to make every little thing heavier than it needs to be.

There will always be things we cannot control.
People will disappoint us. Plans will change. Traffic will be terrible. Someone will misunderstand us. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we will be the difficult person too.

Perhaps the best we can do is notice what is happening, take a breath, and choose what we do next.
After all, life gives us plenty to carry.
Maybe we don't need to carry everything — twice.

In grace
Joy Davis
25 August 2026