Just Habits

People often ask what a spiritual journey is. They imagine it to be something mysterious, something reserved for monks, saints, or enlightened beings. Yet after years of practice, I have come to see it in a much simpler way.

It is, quite simply, just habits.

All our lives—perhaps even across many lifetimes—we have been conditioned by habits. From childhood, we absorbed beliefs from our parents, schools, society, religion, and the media. We learned how to judge, compare, compete, defend ourselves, blame others, and fear the future. Even the body’s automatic reactions and emotional patterns seem to arise as if they have been rehearsed countless times before.

Without realizing it, these conditioned habits become our “normal.” They shape our thoughts, perceptions, actions, and reactions. We become convinced that other people, situations, or events are the cause of our happiness or suffering. We instinctively defend ourselves or attack what appears to threaten us. We rarely question whether these habitual responses are true.

Only in the present can we make a choice. We cannot choose what is past, nor can we choose what’s in the future. The present is where salvation is found. In Buddhism, this is reflected in the practice of mindful awareness and walking the Middle Way. In A Course in Miracles, it is the moment we choose between the Ego and the Holy Spirit. In everyday language, it is the choice between fear and love, darkness and goodness.

This is where the real work begins.

The spiritual path is not about becoming someone extraordinary. It is about becoming aware of the habits we have unconsciously practiced for years. Worry is a habit. Anxiety is a habit. Anger is a habit. Impatience is a habit. Blame is a habit. Even the certainty that “I am right” is often nothing more than a well-practiced habit.

Many of our rituals, opinions, and reactions feel natural simply because we have repeated them so often. Repetition has made them familiar, but familiarity does not make them true. When we start doubting these, we learn to pause. That pause is powerful.

Instead of automatically reacting, we step back and observe. We become willing to question whether our habitual way of seeing is reality. We recognize that the dark thoughts passing through the mind are not who we truly are. They are simply old patterns seeking to repeat themselves.

And if habits can be learned, they can also be unlearned.

Every moment becomes an opportunity to cultivate new habits—habits of forgiveness instead of resentment, patience instead of irritation, compassion instead of judgment, trust instead of fear, and peace instead of conflict.

At first, these new habits may feel unnatural. That is understandable. We have spent decades strengthening the old ones. But every time we choose again, we weaken the old conditioning and strengthen a new way of seeing.

This is not rocket science. It is simply training the mind.

Little by little, we stop believing that suffering is caused by the world outside us. We begin to understand that peace is not found by changing other people but by changing the habits of thought we choose to follow.

Our actions naturally begin to reflect our inner choice. Kindness replaces criticism. Understanding replaces blame. Acceptance replaces resistance. Peace quietly takes the place of struggle.

Perhaps this is what the spiritual journey has always been.

Not becoming a different person, but remembering who we have always been beneath all the conditioning.

Not acquiring something new, but letting go of what was wrongly learned.

In the end, the journey is beautifully simple.

It is just habits. And every present moment offers us another opportunity to choose.

Choose wisely.

In grace
Yvonne Loh
06 October 2026