A New Year Resolution for Life

Sometimes in life, the unexpected arrives quietly and painfully—being accused or blamed for something we did not truly do. Many of us know this experience. The pain that follows is hard to put into words. There is a sudden exposure, a sense of vulnerability, accompanied by shame or guilt—not because we are at fault, but because of how we fear others now see us. It is this fear of perception that stirs the urge to defend ourselves, to explain, or to strike back.

THE HUMAN IDEA OF FAIRNESS

It is often said that the world is unfair—that those who cause harm walk away untouched, while those who did not are left carrying the blame. From a human perspective, fairness seems like it should be the way of the world, and its absence feels entirely at odds with how things ought to unfold. Yet this way of seeing, while understandable, does not fully capture the nature of existence itself.

Not only in our own lives, but along the journey we call life, we encounter repeated stories of unfairness unfolding around us. The news is filled with such accounts—within relationships, careers, racial tensions, politics, and even health. Time and again, we are confronted with outcomes that do not match what we feel should have happened.

EXPECTATION AND TIME CONCEPT

Our hope is that life unfolds fairly—that good immediately brings about good, and harm returns to harm within the time frame we can perceive. That, however, is not how nature operates from the perspective of our limited concept of time. The results of actions, whether good or bad, arise according to causes and conditions, and their effects may not appear immediately—or in a way we can easily perceive. Many of us were taught and reminded of this narrow view, encouraged to believe it almost as if it were a natural law: stable, reliable, and beyond question. Yet when we look closely at our day-to-day experience, this is not quite what we see.

So what, then, is truly happening—and how might we meet such challenges when they one day reach our own shores? As the year draws to a close, some of us carry wounds that have not fully healed, hurts that quietly follow us into the new year. For those who have had a gentler year, it is natural to hope that such experiences will not touch us. Yet hope alone cannot guarantee exemption from life’s uncertainties.

Let this reflection, then, be an offering of understanding for everyone—both those who have been touched by misfortune and those who have not. It is an invitation to take heed of the reality that lies ahead, not with fear, but with clarity. As technology, particularly AI, rapidly reshapes our way of life, the potential for misuse grows equally fast. Deepfakes and distortions of truth remind us that any one of us could, at any moment, become a victim of circumstance.

SEEING BEYOND ASSUMPTIONS

So how might we learn to see life as it truly unfolds, rather than through the lens of how we assume things should or should not happen?

What occurs within existence is neither random nor the result of some selective intervention. Events arise through the natural law of conditionality—where causes and conditions converge to shape what unfolds. This law governs not only how things come to be, but also why certain things cannot come to be.

In this sense, happenings emerge from conditions, not from personal intention or design. They do not occur because of us, for us, to us, or against us. They unfold impersonally, quietly following the universal law of cause and effect.

If we can truly comprehend this reality—not merely as a belief, but as something clearly seen—we begin to understand that the eight vicissitudes of life are not matters of personal choice. They arise naturally, dependent on causes and conditions.

THE EIGHT VICISSITUDES OF LIFE

What are these eight? Gain and loss, fame and disgrace, praise and blame, pleasure and pain. These are not moral rewards or punishments; they are simply aspects of existence that each of us will encounter, in one form or another, over the course of our lives. We cannot choose only the pleasant four while rejecting the difficult ones, because their arising depends entirely on causes and conditions. They are not personally targeted at anyone, even though we may feel as if they are.

Even as we encounter the eight vicissitudes of life, we naturally hope that the agreeable experiences will come our way. Yet this preference does not change the law by which life unfolds—it only reveals our human shortcomings in how we respond.

THE ILLUSIONS OF CONTROL

Why is this so? Because, in truth, we are not fully in charge of life. Causes and conditions are. Everything unfolds according to conditionality.

When we want a cup of water and are able to reach for it, we rarely pause to notice the vast web of causes and conditions at work. We assume that what we want is simply what we get. Yet without the convergence of countless factors—the body functioning, the cup being there, the water having been poured, the conditions allowing movement—even this simple act could not occur.

What we take to be personal control is often a misperception. Beneath each ordinary moment lies an intricate field of conditions quietly enabling what happens, and just as quietly preventing what does not.

UNCERTAINTY AS THE ONLY CERTAINTY

When we learn to see the larger picture of how life unfolds—rather than believing we are the ones making life happen—we come into quiet agreement with nature. We begin to see that uncertainty, born of causality and conditionality, is in fact the only certainty. It is our demand for predictable outcomes that leaves us feeling unsettled and uneasy along the way.

To meet life wisely, we may adopt the understanding that anything can happen. This is not a posture of helplessness, nor a surrender to passivity. We can still influence causes so that certain effects may arise. Yet we must also recognize that results do not answer to our preferences; they unfold in accordance with nature.

So, my dear readers, if you have been hurt by the nature of what has happened—whether through betrayal, accusation, defamation, or even natural disaster—you have my deepest sympathy for what you are facing. I gently invite you to consider another perspective: life unfolds through the impersonal nature of events—not for you, not to you, and not against you—but simply as nature expressing itself through causes and conditions. May this understanding bring relief and healing as you find the strength to meet life with greater clarity and calm.

And for those stepping into the new year with hope and confidence, may there also be mindfulness. The vicissitudes of life remain an inherent part of existence. At times, we may be blamed for doing wrong, for doing right, or even for doing nothing at all—as wisely observed by a great master of old. Seeing this clearly does not make us cynical; it makes us steady.

May this understanding serve as a wise New Year’s resolution for each of us—to meet life’s uncertainties with awareness, steadiness, and compassion, and to sail more smoothly through whatever comes our way.

In grace,
Hor Tuck Loon
30 December 2025