The Loop Of Pull & Push
Life is a loop. We probably didn’t notice that. It looks like we are having a new experience each day and seemingly each day gives us new satisfaction. But if we bring awareness to each moment, and scrutinise deeply, we will notice that our response, or rather reaction, to each happening is pretty much the same - the "pull and push" factor. We seek for something to "pull in" and then we "push it out" and a while later we "pull in" something else again and later on "push out" some other thing. This motion reminds me of a "tug of war" - depending on which force is stronger.
What is this "pull and push"? It is our incessant restless state of pleasure and displeasure. Of like and dislike. Of holding on and resisting. These two forces are like two opposite sides of the same coin. You can say they are the same yet they are not. Both work from the premise of wanting. "Not wanting" is also a wanting - wanting to push it away. Sometimes the word attachment is given to it. More precisely, it is an act born of restlessness; of not being satisfied. Within our minds there is such a program and this mental state of dissatisfaction is what craving is about.
The word “craving”, is but a peculiar function of the mind that is the chief cause of restlessness in us. We all want to be free. But when we are free, we look for something to do. We fall back into the loop of being "unfree" again. We wanted something very much and when we finally have it we feel that there is something else better. It keeps us looking into the future. That is what this craving is. In fact, most of our unhappiness is due to that although more often than not, we think we are unhappy because of a person, a situation or something else, other than what is in our minds.
Because of not knowing the cause of it, we are always reacting based on the "pull and push" factor. It can be money, food, relationship, whatever. Each of this area is constantly causing us numerous headaches arising from what we should and should not do. Sometimes we even come to a crossroad of wondering whether we should or should not do something. And even then, we have a hard time deciding.
Until we know that the cause is craving, we will always be restless, unsatisfied and unsettled. But there is a way out of it. To see to cravings' end. But it is not as simple as it appears to be. For some of us, we imagined that if these pull and push factors were no longer around, life would become meaningless or even boring. But that is exactly what craving does - not allowing you to know what it is like without it. What if, a certain greater peace, awaits you at the end of craving? What if, craving is just a redundant program that does not allow you to live life to its fullest except running the incessant blind process of pull and push? And what if, there is true freedom coming out of the end of craving. What if?
You can only know if you take on the journey of awareness in learning about it. Of finding them out and learning what they do to your life. Only then can you be seriously convinced that the choice we thought we always have is just a loop of the same game of "pull and push". In fact, the choice is but a decision - decided by craving. True choice occurs when we are no longer bound by this crazy function. The fruit is yours to behold. Join us in finding it out in our new season of Mindfulness – A Starting Point and it is just round the corner and also the last for the year!
In grace,
Tuck Loon
on behalf of The WISE Team
Newsletter 10 November 2020