When Movies Become Your Mirror
I grew up in an all-girls school, and as a teenager, I was much influenced by reading Mills & Boon romance novels.
Recently I have taken to watching C-Dramas in similar genres, and they are addictive. These storylines often depict young lovers in idealized relationships, with the male protagonist portrayed as a dream partner who embodies unwavering commitment, charm, and goodness. The female character is celebrated, on the receiving end of such devotion, culminating in a flawlessly happy ending where everything falls into place.
As I start to question my obsession with chasing episodes, it reveals to me that the storylines mirror an inner yearning, a sense of lack within myself. The movies become more than entertainment; they are a means of indirectly experiencing what I feel I have missed in my own life. They fill a gap, a longing for the idealized love I felt I did not encounter. Watching these illusions feels like reliving my life, as though I could rewrite my personal story through the lens of these fabricated narratives.
Movies, especially those rooted in fantasy, are powerful tools of escapism. Their romantic backdrops, impeccable acting, and choice of actors, and meticulously crafted storylines are designed to evoke emotions, to make the unreal feel real. Yet, I recognize that these stories are but illusions within an illusion. Life itself is an illusion. Although not yet directly realised, it is a temporary and impermanent experience shaped by our perceptions and attachments. Fantasies made through movies are another layer of illusions and the attachment to them is not about the stories themselves but about what they represent: an unfulfilled need, a yearning for something that I believe will complete me.
This realization is humbling. It forces me to confront my own sense of lack and the regrets I carry. It is not the movies that are the source of my pain; they are merely reflections of an inner condition—a craving to rewrite the past, to find fulfilment in the unattainable.
Acknowledging this attachment is the first step toward freedom. The lesson here is not to deny myself the simple pleasure of enjoying a movie but to understand why the attachment is so strong and to question its roots. Why do I feel this sense of lack? Why do I believe that an external story can fulfill an internal void?
This journey is a reminder to turn inward, to seek fulfillment not in external illusions but in the depths of my own being. The stories I watch are fabricated, yet so too are the stories I tell myself about what I lack or regret. By seeing them for what they are—mental constructs—I can begin to let go.
In conclusion, attachment to watching love fantasies is a mirror reflecting my inner world. It reveals the mind’s tendency to seek solace in illusions, clinging to sensual pleasures that provide temporary comfort but leave lasting emptiness. True liberation lies in recognizing these patterns, understanding their roots, and turning toward the deeper truths within.
Life itself is impermanent, an ever-changing flow of experiences. To find peace, I must learn to embrace its reality without grasping for what was or what could have been. By letting go of the illusions within the illusion, I can begin to experience life as it truly is—free, expansive, and complete in its imperfection.
In grace,
Yvonne Loh
3 June 2025