From Fog to Clarity

There was a long stretch of quiet. I didn’t feel like writing - no spark, no clear thoughts. But then, slowly and softly, something began to shift. I realized that every moment has the potential to wake us up. And yet… the mind so often drifts toward the familiar—toward the noise and busyness of everyday life.

Why is that?

Maybe it’s because of delusion—a kind of fog that clouds the mind. It hides from us our deep longing to be free, to really see.

Even the word “ignorance” says a lot. It's not that something outside is keeping us asleep—it’s that we’re turning away from what’s right in front of us. When fear shows up (as it often does for me), I have to ask: what am I not seeing?

Fear doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It’s built from old habits, from things we didn’t want to face. And often, fear is driven by the mind’s craving for control - wanting to keep loved ones safe, wanting a secure future, wanting guarantees. As I look deeper, I see it’s the preservation of the “I” that clings to people and things for security.  But life doesn’t work that way, does it?

Even with all the wisdom we've heard or read, delusion can still feel incredibly real. Even when we’re aware, delusion runs a convincing show. But, can this be otherwise?

Strangely, something changes when I stop trying to fight fear and instead, just look at it. Not to push it away, but to really understand it. Often, my mind starts spinning - trying to plan, control, even fix others - all in the hope of calming uncertainty. But that only tightens the loop. Again and again.

This loop is driven by something deep: the belief in a solid, unchanging “self.” But when I remember that I'm not a fixed self, just a flow of processes, always shifting, then my grip on fear softens. I see that fear, like everything else, comes and goes. It’s not permanent. It’s not “me.”

Clarity begins to appear when I stop clinging to concepts and come back to what’s real, right here and now. Fear starts to lose its power. It becomes like a shadow on the wall, shaped by thoughts I once believed were true. And then, I begin to see the possibility of choice: do I follow the old story, or stay with what’s here? Delusion or clarity? Habit or presence?

When mindfulness fades, conditioning takes over. The loop starts again. But sometimes - just sometimes - there’s a break in the clouds. A small remembering.

It’s not a person who causes this loop. The “I” we talk about is really just a collection of thoughts, shaped by craving, fear, and confusion. Even the body isn’t something solid - it’s a process, always changing. So maybe instead of asking, “Why am I like this?”, the better question is, “What is actually happening?” With the added spark of curiosity, it opens the door for some understanding to arise as the mind plays out its patterns.

The teachings on dependent origination show the pattern clearly: ignorance leads to consciousness, which leads to mind and body, then contact, feeling, craving, clinging… and on it goes, until suffering shows up. And unless we really see this cycle, it keeps running on its own.

The strange part? Delusion can still hang around even when we think we “know”. But who is it that knows? There is no fixed knower—just a mind playing out its patterns. Consciousness brings it all to life, like light through a film reel. And depending on what fuels it - ignorance or wisdom—we either stay asleep or start to wake up.

Do we have a choice? Not in the usual way. Not while the mind is still running on autopilot. But we can begin to incline the mind - gently, patiently—toward truth. Toward curiosity. And that interest matters. Because without it, all our learning stays on the surface—it doesn’t turn into real understanding. The 3-Meditator’s Job is truly our saving grace.

So we keep going.

This path is quiet, slow, and often uncertain. But with every step, the mind grows stronger - supported by faith, energy, mindfulness, stability and wisdom. And maybe, in those small still moments between thoughts, we catch a glimpse… just a glimpse… of what it means to truly wake up.

In gratitude,
Chee Guit Yeng
26 August 2025