“It was not my mother-in-law who made me suffer.”

The first time I heard Tuck Loon speak at Bodhi Heart, Penang, everything I thought I knew about [the awaken truth is] turned upside down. It was unlike anyone else I’ve heard before.

I used to get angry at others and blamed them for making me suffer. Now I understand that I’m the one who created these meanings and suffering for myself. Reality is just a series of happenings taking place, with meaning created by the delusion of the mind. With more understanding and more awareness, life became easier and more relaxed, with less judgements, anger, and the tendency to fix things.

For 30 years, I lived with my mother-in-law after I got married. I’ve always felt that she treated me unfairly. I had the idea that she was the one making me suffer, making my life miserable. Yet I had seen her wrongly. When I begun this journey, I shared with Tuck Loon what happened, and he said: “Look into your own mind.” It took me such a long time to finally understand what he was trying to point to me. The journey was not easy. But eventually, I was shown very clearly that what made me suffer was not my mother-in-law, but the meaning I’ve created in my own mind.

I asked my mother-in-law for forgiveness, and our relationship became very loving. Three months later, she passed away. I’m glad that I saw this reality—that it was the delusion in mind that was responsible for all these years of suffering, not her—before she passed away.

Tuck Loon started sharing with us in 2010, and rather than emphasizing sitting meditation, he shared right information and asked us to investigate and explore so that understanding can happen. Other spiritual teachers usually just gave instructions, taught us to do sitting and walking meditation, and rarely allowed us to share our experiences, which made it difficult to practice since there is no right understanding (of why we practice meditation).

In my gratitude, I have helped him to file and keep all his talks since August 2010, and collected all the messages of our community Whatsapp group for filing according to month and year. I’ve also transcribed some of his talks. Whether he needs it or not, he can always come to me for a backup of all his sharing.

What inspired me to do that? It takes the [like-minded community’s] effort to preserve the [realized] teachings, so that everybody can benefit. I appreciate the [liked-minded community’s] effort, so I put in a little bit of my time to preserve whatever Tuck Loon had shared in the hopes of benefitting others. We also have a sharing group in Penang every Tuesday from 11 am - 5 pm. All who are interested in this journey can join us. As the committee member for Tuck’s retreats in Penang, I also organize talks there every month.

The fog of delusion is so thick in all of us, so much more than wisdom, that it’s a challenge for those who reach out in an attempt to clear the little dust in their eyes. It’s easy to say something that everybody agrees with. It is far more difficult to speak of the reality that challenges delusion. Creative ways to reach out are needed, as such pure teachings tend to be in the minority.
I am deeply appreciating his presence in my pace in this lifetime.
— Chui Peng, Penang (Housewife)

“[It is] not just teaching spirituality; it uses creative ways to awaken spirituality and to learn skills for daily living.”

I’m a working mother of two adolescents. Six years ago, I first heard Tuck Loon shared at Bodhi Heart Sanctuary (a Buddhist centre in Penang). It was so inspiring that I began to get to know Clove&Clive and later became involved in its activities.

Tuck Loon is an unusual speaker. Rather than speaking “surface” teachings of the [fully awaken one] to help ease life issues as offered by many [religious] centres, he goes straight into the depth of the teachings. It surprised me greatly. My idea about the [the awaken truth] was that it supports and perhaps enriches life in the moral aspect, having had very little exposure to [it]. I was shocked to learn that it IS life! The very purpose of living!

He shares tirelessly, if one shows interest. I remember my two other friends and I would invite him over coffee and he would share for hours so that we understand. He doesn’t segregate life issues from the [awaken truths]. That is how Clove&Clive is unique. It is not just teaching spirituality. It uses creative ways to awaken spirituality in oneself. Whatever skills learnt has to be explored in daily living.

Sometimes when life is smooth sailing, we take the blessings for granted. That was how I behaved. Though I listened diligently and partook in some of the activities by Clove&Clive, I never realized the growth in me … until crisis struck! In 2015, I lost all my life savings through poor investments. I was able to go through that challenge without being devastated. Being an emotional person, needless to say I surprised my family. In fact, I surprised myself too. This incident greatly increased my faith in my practice as well as the appreciation towards my teacher, Tuck Loon and his wife, Sister Lai Fun.

I support Clove&Clive because I believe in its sincere endeavor in bringing goodness to touch people’s lives. I can see that the profits from the activities are used for the running of its training centre. Many times, instructors offer their services free of charge. They lead exemplary lifestyles. When I was struck with the financial crisis, Clove&Clive and even the community extended help to me to partake in some programs.

How have I changed? I can only say that it is obvious in how I view others. They have changed – appearing more connected and “real”. When the Truth touches me, it gives me a sense of fearlessness, a kind of courage to view life in its true flavour. And it is fulfilling indeed.
— Nancy, Penang

“If it weren’t for these teachings, I most probably wouldn’t be here today as I would have opted to give up this life when faced with a major crisis a few years back.”

I first came to Clove&Clive to learn about meditation. It blew away my expectations, because it turned my whole life around. Compared to what I’ve gained, my initial goal was so mediocre. If there is one thing I can share that has been most impressed on me throughout the journey, it is this: the unpleasantness or suffering in our space is self-created, and has nothing to do with the outside world or the creator.

A few years ago, I had a career crisis, and because of that, I fell into severe depression and almost put an end to this life. I also nearly separated from my one-year marriage, when I could not see that the faults I see in my spouse was a result of my frustration at work and with life. If it weren’t for these teachings, I most probably wouldn’t be here today as I would have opted to give up this life when faced with a major crisis a few years back. But because I had realised that I was seeing the world with a tainted glass, I went through the crisis equipped with the understanding of this mind, and was able to finally see that the crisis was a blessing in disguise. Because of the practice, which helped me see through this dilemma, it brought about acceptance, and I took the bold step of quitting the job. Amazingly, I was offered a better job the very day I quit without me putting in any effort. The fear that was haunting me earlier was truly unnecessary.

Life became more pleasant when I took more responsibility of this mind rather than putting the blame out there. When I stopped putting the blame on this self, I started to realise that everything is the result of conditioning within. When conditions ripen, what is within will be manifested as an experience out there.

Clove&Clive offers us a space to be ourselves and be authentic rather then disguise ourselves in the hopes of gaining acceptance. These non-sectarian teachings are based on the Truth and Wisdom experienced by all enlightened teachers in the past, irrespective of their religious background. Tuck Loon and Lai Fun’s extensive experience through their own personal journey gave them the skills to clearly point to us, in a very simply way, how to practice in our daily life regardless of conditions rather than depending on conditions or settings to be a certain way. Both teachers, each with their respective strength, greatly compliments each other to provide understanding and clarity in this practice, which cannot be found in other organisations or books.

The teachings has truly transformed my life and my loved ones and those who has come to the centre. I am therefore inspired to give so that the activities carried out could benefit more in times to come. I wish to share what I have learned in the hope that it will help others to live an easier and fuller life, when they finally see the workings of this thing called the “Mind”.
— Danny Chin Boon Lim, Kuala Lumpur (Operations Manager)

“... I don't condemn myself anymore (not to the extend that is destructive). I came to accept what I am and who I am. Accepting the pleasant and "evil" side of me, for they are the best teachers that I could have.”

Embarking on this journey is really beautiful. I recollect the times when I patronised the self-help books in bookstore, the more I read it, the lower my self-esteem become (in my case). “If I can do it, you can do it too!” “If you think you can, you can!” These words screaming at me, I should be inspired, but instead I felt even more like failure than before. It just can’t happen to me! I got frustrated and gotten into the emotions of roller coasters. The more I fight those feelings, the worse I become. It is as though I’ve gotten into the boxing ring, and fight with all my life, and yet emerge as loser.

But, there’s always this little voice inside, “This just can’t be, there’s more to this in life”. So I’ve kept searching and searching (am still). This journey is beautiful to me because I don’t condemn myself anymore (not to the extend that is destructive). I came to accept what I am and who I am. Accepting the pleasant and “evil” side of me, for they are the best teachers that I could have.

I truly thank the teachers here, for providing a safe space to learn without judging and emphasising that change only come from within and not with force. I’m humbled by this experience of awareness and self discovery.

Thank you Tuck Loon & Lai Fun for your selfless contributions.
— Poh Ying, Insurance Agent

“The closest answer to my heart is GROUNDED. There’s nothing to be fearful of, nothing to feel uncertain of, nothing to feel guilty of because everything is as perfect as it is.”

When I began this journey in early 2013, I was going through bouts of anxiety attacks, although my life was relatively good. I thought it would benefit me, and I needed some answers to my unknown questions—unknown because I just did not know what was the problem. The first time I stepped into the centre, I had no clue what the teaching is about. Neither do I have any expectations except that I knew there would be some benefit somehow. Reflecting back now, my understanding of BENEFIT in the past was very much understated.

I’ve always been well taken care of in my life. I remember once, when I was still a teenager, I wished that my life was more colourful! I had a gnawing sense of lack, like a missing jigsaw puzzle. My parents and friends could not understand since I myself did not know any better then. I felt immensely guilty for not appreciating what I already have. There was a constant battle between the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ within me. Extremely exhausting!

Since young, I have always been reached out by friends to accept Jesus Christ. I could connect with Him, but I could not connect with the religious aspect—the good conduct, what one needs to do and not do, in order to be liberated. I could not understand the conflict then because His words were not truly understood. With Tuck Loon and Lai Fun’s guidance, His words are clearer and no conflict can arise. To me all religions are meant for one purpose, which is to point us to the Truth. Ironically, the very concept of religion is what may deviate us from this same truth. This teaching is never about doing good or refraining from doing bad, but rather through understanding, we will be shown by wisdom what is necessary to be done, which is always for our highest good. The good we do has to be done from understanding and not because we have to. With this, my faith in this journey deepens by a great extent.

It dawned upon me as I continued the path in faith that benefit is not something to be obtained in the future; rather it is something that is already given to me, in every single moment, when each of these moments are known correctly. Correctly as in understanding that all happenings are not intentionally happening to me, or even for me, but rather, they are events that need to happen, no more and no less than that sun that needs to rise in the east and sets in the west. Essentially, I am already free, when I understand what is. If pressed to answer how I’ve benefitted, the closest answer to my heart is GROUNDED. That there’s nothing to be fearful of, nothing to feel uncertain of, nothing to feel guilty of because everything is as perfect as it is.

This teaching is very profound as it points to us the reality beyond the facades of storylines that we are experiencing 24/7. This teaching is to gradually shift our lens to witness this reality. This reality is ALREADY here but will only be revealed when understanding is established. So near yet so far. This is why the pointing done by Teacher Tuck Loon and Teacher Lai Fun needs to be repeated again and again, for as long as it is required. This understanding requires COMPLETE precision, for any slight deviation, we are off the path of understanding. But fear not, for we are always given the chance to choose again, as long as we have faith. I have faith that in due time, we will meet at that precision revealing to us EVERYTHING that was not seen precisely before.

With the increased in faith in this journey, I shared the little I know with my family members and friends. Some have benefitted from the talks given by Tuck Loon and Lai Fun. We can only taste the goodness when we start walking the journey. Faith increases in time as we start to discover the wonder of the teaching.

But in order for this teaching to continue and reach out to more people, a new setup called WISE is presented. I have committed to put aside a small sum of contribution per month and added together with donations from the others, I trust that more people will benefit from this teaching. It is never about the act of donating, but understanding the motives behind the act of donating which will lead us closer to the Truth.

You being able to read this testimonial is already a grace that the teaching has found you. May you embark on this beautiful journey, not as a means to learn something new but rather remembering what you have forgotten.
— Lee Hung Leng, Kuala Lumpur (Business Development Planner)

“I was a serious meditator who worked very hard to ‘gain’ realisation…it was so hard, compared to the way of understanding.”

I was a serious meditator! I go for meditation retreats regularly and worked very hard to “gain” realisation, to “fight” the defilements and to “tame” the mind. It was so hard! I am so demanding and harsh on myself. There was a lot of disappointment, anger and dissatisfaction with where I was but I really did not know “how” to do to really improve. When I observed that the members of Clove&Clive has tremendous growth in their way of investigating the mind and gaining understanding, compared to my typical effortful meditation retreats that did not gain much in growth and wisdom, I decided to join Clove&Clive to explore the “gem” there.

After following Tuck Loon and Lai Fun’s inspirational, clear, sharp, and sincere guidance and sharing in their classes, almost of all which I joined, including A Course in Miracles, Tuesdays with Yourself, and monthly retreats, a new and never-before horizon opened up for me to discover the nature of mind. I started to read A Course in Miracles and listen to Sayadaw U Tejaniya’s interview recordings in the car. I also do daily morning meditation for 15-30 minutes and night time reflection and aspiration. Always, the emphasis is on right understanding and the livelihood that promotes understanding. It is understanding, not effort, that frees the mind from wrong views, which is the cause of dissatisfaction in life.

Funnily enough, I often doubted what Tuck Loon and Lai Fun shared until I had the opportunity to help them translate English to Chinese for the China yogis during my meditation retreat in SOM. I could feel their sincerity in guiding the yogis. The teachers’ dedication in their own practice has also resulted in their continuous growth in wisdom and skilfulness. This in turn made their guidance even clearer and easier. With that wisdom arises easily in the participants’ space!

Over time, I felt more supported in the journey, with more faith, gentleness, and forgiveness. Little realisations start to arise and grow. It’s a gradual, but very natural change, due to the right conditions given through all these supporting factors. I am very grateful indeed. I trust that my mind and life will continue to be shaped and directed toward ease, clarity, and understanding, which will become the refuge of life. My sense of confidence (faith), gratitude, gentleness grew and I became more forgiving, with more clarity on the purpose of life.

What Clove&Clive has provided in its activities have benefitted so many people. I want to sustain these places so people who are seeking freedom will benefit from it too. I have pledged a fixed amount for monthly maintenance of Clove&Clive Centre and also donated a sum for the WISE Foundation building fund to build a meditation centre. With the teachers’ pointing, I hope understanding will arise in all who have been touched by these teachings about their mind and life, which in turn eases their hearts.
— Yen Him, Kuala Lumpur (Lecturer)

How have I changed? How I view others. I’m more connected and ‘real’. When the Truth touches me, it gives me a sense of fearlessness, a kind of courage to view life in its true flavor. And it is fulfilling indeed.
— Nancy Cheah, Malaysia
With understanding, I see what’s happened is not personal, but rather events that need to happen, no more and no less than the sun needs to rise in the east and sets in the west…If I were asked the benefits of these teachings, the closest answer to my heart is GROUNDED. That there’s nothing to be fearful of, nothing to feel uncertain of, nothing to feel guilty of because everything is as perfect as it is.
— Lee Hung Leng, Malaysia
I found myself less judgmental, more patient and not easily panic like before because of the understanding on how the mind works and not perpetuate into the story lines.
— Daphne Kwan, Malaysia
It is my hope that this organization can be around as long as possible to inspire as many people as possible to walk this path of better understanding this so called self.
— Law Ean See, Penang
Good morning, the journey which I wasn’t aware of started the day I came to your workshop. Since then I was looking for my own light, or at least trying to see if there is one. I had my first amazing awakening breakthrough and I can’t describe the experience of it because I do not have a vocabulary for that. I have seen that the life I had before was heavy, meaningless and unreal. This kind of mind has since stopped and my heart has now opened up and I am now experiencing life in its wholeness. Thank you, thank you. I really mean it.
— Erman Erciyes, Turkey
Faith and confidence grows in me, in the teacher and WISE. After I started the journey, it has been life transforming so far. I will continue to practice, be interested and appreciative for the opportunity to face the mind for one last time. Terima kasih dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki.
— Mei Choo, supply chain planner

Mindfulness - A Starting Point (workshop)

“Very concise interpretation of how and why of meditation. Tuck Loon was great with analogy and diagrammatic Interpretation and Lai Fun was very articulate and clear at sharing her thoughts and experiences. An immense help to those who have been looking for right guidance and those who have been meditating incorrectly!” – Ken, Retired Professional, Penang (MSP VP05)

"My grudges on certain things are softened. I learned to see things from different perspective - see things as it is." –  Catherine Lee, Accounts (MSP V74)

"The WISE Team has created the foundation for my spiritual journey. This I can see would be so useful." – Lilian Kuan, Sales (MSP V73)

"I started to pause for a while before reacting on daily trivial matters. It appears that it doesn't bother me anymore or not as much as before." – Soh Yoke Yan, Finance (MSP V73)

"I am very much grateful for attending this course as it is truly life changing for me. Your explanations are so simple yet eye opening and you have impacted my life in a beautiful way. I would hope to reach the stage where I am able to impact others in the same way. I feel like my life has drastically changed for the better."– Divyaa Sritharan, Investment analyst (MSP V73)

"I've attended many self-development seminars before. They were good but the effect was not lasting. Unlike WISE's teachings, they didn't impact real understanding and realisation". – Foong Mei Lun, Florist (MSP V73)

"This is the course that is a must for everyone to attend before any other courses out there. Nothing is more important than to know your mind and eventually to be the master of your life." – Jocelyn, property/ID sector

“I feel that I have changed in a positive way. I have also received feedback from friends that they notice the change in me – from a negative person to a positive one.” – Josephine Chew, Human Resources Manager

“Really helped me to be aware of my thoughts and make me realise I have a choice to be present.” – Tahir Naeem

“My daily life changes. I become more aware of my mind and taking notice on the ideas that is running at the background. I feel more peaceful.” – Samantha Lim, Regional Credit Analysis

“My main learnings from this workshop is a way to know myself better, understand how certain things work and doesn’t work in my life and finally to remove the blocks in myself preventing me to live my life peacefully.” – Tan Hui Kee, Teacher

“Very thorough explanation of what meditation is and how to meditate skillfully. Facilitators are quick with questions posed by students. Gentle approach. Gratitude for the job well done by the facilitators in sharing your wisdom and what you’ve learnt throughout your own self-discovery and transformative journey. There was a lot of heart put in the effort.” – Eva, Artist/Life Coach

“This 6 sessions were a great experience for me and already changed something in me. I can feel that it is a start of a journey to the real truth! I hope I can stop running away and realize what is going on.” – Husne Kaya, Housewife/Nurse Management

“My favorite sessions were when the trainers share about their past experiences, real life stories and also during the Q&A sessions which helps me to recall and have better understanding of certain things.” – Chew Li Wen, Student

“It gives me a new perspective what mindfulness is and the sessions were profound to me. Thank you for your time and generosity to share, Tuck Loon & Lai Fun! It is a starting point for me.” – Jade Lim

“I did not set any objectives when I first came. But the sessions opened a window of awareness to me. My 3 main learning points from this course are awareness, the mind and love.” – Lim Yung Keng, Real Estate Negotiator


The Retreat

"The retreat is like a treasure chest! Every time I come I find a Gem!” – Mei Lun, Florist

“The programmes are well planned and well thought of. The timing for each activities are just nice. Some programmes/games are simple yet they carry deep meanings in them each. What I loved most about this retreat is the place and the like-minded people I am learning together with especially with the trainers/meditation guides.” – Denise Lim Hsien Hui, Remisier

“What I liked best about this retreat is that it enables me to reveal my vulnerability.” – Jessica Tan, Claims Manager

“The programme is well balanced. I learned to be with the flow and to stop focusing; to be vulnerable – I am enough; and that authentic sharing supports my and others’ growth.” – Ong Beng Chung, Restaurant Entrepreneur

“The guided meditation was superb. There is variety of training/teaching styles among three teachers. This is an excellent mixture for me to learn from different aspects.” – Tan Soo Lan

“The things I like best about this retreat are the sharing sessions, the availability to ask for help and guidance when a question appears and also the opportunity to practice silent.” – Ilkay

I love that this retreat is relaxing and natural as there is no feelings of strictness. I can just be myself. – Ally, Sales Executive

“My impression of the trainers/meditation guides were knowledgeable and unselfish in imparting meditation. I liked the frankness and openness in group discussion.” – Ong Eng Choon, Tax Accountant