Do you know the feeling of being trapped? When we see an animal in a cage, we would normally say “Poor Thing” because we see that the animal has limited space to move about and can only do certain activities. Let’s bring this scenario to our own lives.
Some people feel trapped in a relationship, job, family and even where they live. Often the thinking is, “There is no way out”, “I have to endure this because I did something wrong”, “What to do... this is life, just suck it up”, “It’s all your fault I am in this mess, you got to get me out”.
Other reactions may include, getting angry, refusing to eat, keeping silent, doing unhealthy activities, etc. – but at the end of the day, the trapped feeling still prevails. Let me share a story with you. There is a lady who cooks healthy meals for her mother in law (MIL) but her MIL would refuse to eat certain foods even though it’s healthy saying she is full or she has no appetite. But immediately after, the MIL would eat fruits and other “junk” food. This is baffling and also disconcerting for that lady.
Until one day she realized that each person is really trapped in their own beliefs, views, perceptions and thoughts in every area of their lives. For example, to the lady, cooking with less salt and steamed food is healthy hence she serves that to her MIL. But her MIL likes food to be fried and salty for it to be delicious.
So both parties are operating from their own views and ideas. Isn’t this a formula for a disastrous relationship? If both parties are unconscious of the beliefs, views and ideas that trap them, they will blame the other for the misery they feel.
So how do we release ourselves from our self imposed traps? Do the opposite or don’t do the opposite? Ask the other person to change and follow your views? I believe we have all tried the above strategies but the result is not what we hoped, right?
Luckily there is another way which is through the door of Awareness. When we learn to be aware of ourselves with an attitude of curiosity, we start to unravel the beliefs, views and ideas that are driving our every thought and action. This is the key to opening the door of the trap.
I invite you to join the upcoming Mindfulness–A Starting Point session to learn and finally gain the key to your personal freedom.
Meanwhile, on behalf of WISE team, here is wishing you Happy Lunar New Year, happy holidays and may wisdom and understanding continue to support your life.