Have you ever experienced a state of mind where you are convinced that an idea you have about another person is the absolute truth? It’s like there is no way you are willing to see the person in any other way nor are you willing to hear the other person's explanation. When you were in such a state, did you notice the nature of your mind? Was it calm or agitated? Was there eagerness or stability? Was there tightness or spaciousness?
It's natural for us to assume that we are right about our opinion of the other person. What we don't realise is that we are locking our own view of that the person to a certain label we have put on that person. For example, “arrogant”, “judgmental”, “smart” etc. So we have a tendency to want to “Be Right” rather than “Be Free”. In a strange way, when we label a person, it gives us an idea how to treat that person which in a way locks us into a standard response. For example, if I had labelled a person as “arrogant”, I would tend to be defensive in my speech and actions whenever I interact with this person. So now I am locked in with no choice to do otherwise, without realising this. Hence the never ending vicious cycle of attack and defence starts. Living this constant cycle is not only energy draining but also takes up our time from doing other productive things. So is there a way out?
Yes, there is. An effective way out of the vicious cycle is through the cultivation of awareness. This awareness is not ordinary awareness but awareness that has a component of wisdom in it. How do you know you are on the right track? These few questions can be your guide. Are you aware that judging is happening? Are you aware of the attitude in your mind? Are you aware of the sensations in the body when you label someone? Do you see the mental feelings and thoughts? Are you "noticing" the dislike or "living" the dislike?
When our practise of Awareness with wisdom is consistent, with the right information and attitude and in a stepping-back manner, we will come to see the vicious cycle we are in and before long the fixation we have in our mind about another person will naturally change or dropped off. This is the way of freedom.
My question to you is ..... Would you rather be Right or be Free?
If you choose freedom, do come and find out what WISE has to offer to you to jump-start you on your journey of freedom.